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http://www.prettythin.com/

Pretty great site. It's like an Easting Disorder facebook.

Day Four of my fast. I've got a bad side effect. This lump in my throat like I'm choking. Apparently my throat muscles tightened when they should be relaxed and something in my esophagus is backing up. I drank some orange juice to subdue the feeling.

Other than that though, I'm doing pretty fantastic and haven't cheated since. I'm pretty excited to see the scale Sunday. I should be in the 120s by then. I've changed my Ultimate Goal Weight from 100 to 90. I found an image online of a girl who has my height and my goal weight and she looks great. I figure if it looks awesome on her, it should look amazing on me.

MY ULTIMATE THINSPO: (5'5", 90lbs)

Ciao, Fiona.

i cheated. i purged. i peeked.

So I cheated. I literally went ravenous on a PB and J sandwich but immediately however ralphed and ralphed until I went dizzy. Luckily though I LOST 2 POUNDS! Officially at 130. :D





Ciao, Fiona.

1 day down. 9 to go.

I've successfully fasted the entire day.

I want the weight to drop.

I just want to wake up a dramatic slimmer size.

Someday I think I'll like me.

Just waiting for that day to come.

Ciao, Fiona.

I'm awfully pissed

I'm not sure if I'm more angry with myself, or with the scale. Last time I checked, whenever a person eats mostly raw veggies and fruits they're supposed to lose some fucking weight. It's been two goddamn days and i've only lost the 3 pounds I lost on fucking Sunday. STILL 133! What a fucking jip. So fuck it, if vegetables aren't going to help me lose weight, I'll just fast the last 10 days of my Raw Diet.

OH and I attempted to give myself a warm water salt flush after I saw that I hadn't lost anything, and all that did was make my mouth dry. I did EVERYTHING correct. 1 Glass of Soup Warm water, and 2 Tablespoons of Salt. NOTHING! What a bullshit idea. Then I decided to drink a glass of milk, because I'm a bit lactose intolerant so I'm hoping that'll clean me out. Right now I've just got terrible stomach cramps. I'm going to buy some laxatives this afternoon when I go with my mom to the doctor. Hopefully that'll give me an edge. I need something that's gonna help me start fresh. I think what I'll do is take 2-3 laxatives tonight, fast the last of the 10 days of the Raw Food Diet, and then possibly attempt Raw Food again after the 10 Day Fast.

I REFUSE TO LET MYSELF BE A FATTIE ANYMORE!

I kind of feel like I shouldn't have peaked at the scale when I promised I'd ONLY weigh in on Sundays, but I needed to know if I was going in the right direction. It really makes things different. Like, say I lost weight, I'd probably still eat Raw, but I'd cut out dinner to push myself to lose more. But since I haven't lost shit, it just makes me want to cut out all food.

BULLSHIT!

Intake:
Canned Pears, Cup of Noodles, 2 Bowls of Cereal - 1/26

I think I'll watch that video on YoutTube, about the 2 girls on BBC who try to get to Size Zero by trying all of the different anorexic diets. One of the girls is my height. I love seeing girls that are my height lose a lot of weight because it helps me fantasize about how skinny mini I'll look when I make the weight goal.

Real Girl Thinspiration tonight ladies.


Ciao, Fiona.

Cheerios are my Crack

I did really great today food wise. I almost had ramen noodles for supper, but my mother wanted a taste and basically ate all of it, which did save me from veering off of my Raw Food diet. It's sick to see her that way though. I wish she could want to be thin. I know that sounds bad, but she only had me. There's no valid reason why she has to be fatter than moms that have had 3 kids. Maybe I'm a bad person for wishing something like that. She has a very pretty face, she'd be great if only she wanted to be small.

Intake:
2 Bowls of Cheerios (vomited immediately) - Breakfast
1 Orange, 1 Banana, & 1 Pear - Lunch
1 Tomato, Lettuce, & 20 Baby Carrots - Dinner

Is it sick to like the cleansing feeling of vommiting? I like the feeling of puking and puking until it hurts because nothing else is inside of me. Then I lay down and my tummy that used to feel bloated and big starts grumbling hungrily. That's when I know I got out every little bit. I feel superior over food. I choose what stays inside of me and what doesn't. I'm like the bouncer of my stomach. You might think you're in the Tummy Club, but I'm kicking your ass out.

I wish I had the strength to go for a jog. I was so tempted today, but I always find excuses not to go. Usually it's because my sneakers hurt my feet because they aren't actual running shoes (which is true! they really do hurt!). But today there was a blizzard. I couldn't possibly run in a blizzard in sneakers that hurt my feet right? I'll just keep telling myself that.

My last rant of the night: Insomnia SUCKS. I've literally been staying up until about 7am and sleeping until 1-2 in the afternoon. I mean it's great because I force myself to go to bed really hungry, I'm talking stomach roaring hungry, that way when I wake up I'll be dying of hunger. That's another awesome feeling to have. That satisfied feeling that your body is eating itself and that you're starving off the fat. Nothing more gratifying than knowing with every hunger pang you're shrinking. But back to my point, what's up with the not being able to sleep issue?! I'm not an anorexic so why can't I sleep normally? Someone please tell me.

Spotlight Idols - Real Girls

Ciao, Fiona.

Upping the Ante

In order to reach the goal of the famed and beloved size zero, I've decided to up the ante by going on a raw food binge for 2 weeks. All of my meals will consist of only... you guessed it: raw fruits and vegetables.

I'll be weighing in every Sunday to record any and all weight change, whether good or bad. I've lost 2 pounds since I joined the Pledge to Go Veg 3 days ago. Not bad, not bad at all. Eating raw is surprisingly easy so far. Although it's only been a day.

Intake:
1 Banana & a Peach yogurt - Breakfast
Skipped lunch and any snacks
Taco Salad (sans Taco): Lettuce, diced tomatoes, and shredded cheese. - Dinner

My Spotlight Idol of the day is the Fabulous Edie Sedgwick:

Ciao, Fiona.

Hello all!

I decided to become vegetarian to help boost my chances of reaching size zero. I've really let myself go the past few years creeping up from a US size 2 to a size 5/6. The slimmest I've ever been is around 105 pounds and at the moment I am about 135.

I've been body concience since elementary school and have been a bullimic since the 7th grade. I'm currently 18.

I've never really had any support for weight loss because compared to my rather large family... and "large" as in obese, I'm seen as "thin". However, they don't realize in the real world, I'm actually too big. I'd really like to have some ana/mia sisters to talk with and get some support and share love in return. :)

I feel that when I do lose the weight, aside from being thinner, I'll be much happier for finally reaching my goal, I'll be able to get my first boyfriend because I'll be beautiful, and I'll be less body worried.

My goal weight is 100 lbs. 35 pounds is a lot of weight to lose but I know I can do it with the right support team.

Since I became a vegetarian 2 days ago I've only eaten once a day because I ad to eat fast food since I hadn't gone to grocery until today where I got tons of yummy fruits and veggies.

I'll attempt to update everyday with my intake and if I vomited or worked out, which I rarely do. I'm a very lazy person. Also, I feel that since I'm not going to be eating real food it'd be best for me not to work out too hard.

Intake:

1/22 - Veggie Burrito from Qdoba, large choc. chip cookie.

1/23 - Subway Veggie Delight sandwich, 2 cookies.

Hopefully I'll make some ana/mia connections with you all soon.

Ciao, Fiona.